January 26, 2009

Two years ago my mother passed away. I went back last night and read my posts and the comments from that time. I was so relieved she was no longer in pain. I still am. Cancer is ugly!

Not a day goes by that I don't think I should call Mom, or Mom is going to get a kick out of whatever it is that the kids have done that day, or I wonder what Mom thinks about this or that.

I find myself telling the kids things she would have said. Things like Grammy would say if your ears are burning someone is talking about you.

I hear her voice when I say something. I see myself adopting her mannerisms. I joke that she is possessing me. (I don't really think that). I often wondering would this have happened anyway if she was still alive or is it because she is gone.

I know this is a scattered post. Forgive me.

I just find it amazing how odd (for lack of a better word) my life is without my mother. She and I would argue over anything. Anything. Daddy always said it was because we were so much alike. But she was my cheerleader. She believed I (and my sisters) could do anything we set our minds too. She gave us tough love when we needed it and support and encouragement when we needed.

I miss her more than I thought possible.